Monday, August 15, 2011

Worries and Grace.

 When I started this blog, I promised myself that I was going to be true to
who I am. A lot of blogs are light a fluffy with a lot of inspiration and
positivity. That's what I love so much about blogging. It's an amazing
community of creative women with thoughts and ideas to share. But at the
same time, I want to keep things real and not portray anything but what is
real in my life.

I wanted to post this because it's real and it's honest. I think people can
relate when you open up. I woke up in the middle of the night just worrying,
worrying like crazy about the most ridiculous things. I am a planner, I like
to know what is happening. I like to have goals set and a path on how I am
achieving them. This comforts me. This is a good and bad thing. Sometimes
and can worry myself crazy.


Before leaving for work, B notices something is up and the morning proceeds
as follows:

B: "Honey, what's wrong?"
Me: "Nothing."
B: "Babe, I can tell something is wrong, what's the matter?"
Me: "Nothing, I just didn't sleep good, I was thinking about too much."
B: "I'm sorry, what were you thinking about? What's wrong?"
Me: "Nothing, just pointless worrying, nothing.²
B: "Honey..."
Me: (and then I let it out) "Just everything, I worry about the future, what

is going to happen, house, kids, money, what state we are living in,
wedding, creating a beautiful home for our family, how will we do this and 
how will we do that, everyone is having kids,
everyone is married, everyone is pregnant."

As you can see my thoughts all came pouring out. Little tears came and I
felt overwhelmed. B held me and as always, promised me that everything would
be just fine. 


He said I can't look at people around us and compare. Everyone
has a different path and story. Timing is different for everyone and that 

is what make this road of life so incredible. The unknown. But what I do know, 
is that he will be right by my side.

I needed to stop a minute and look around. Look at how far B and I have come
in the past year. I like our story. A good friend reminded me of something
we talked about and apparently I said months and months ago.
Everyone else may be engaged or getting married or starting a family or
having 2nd and 3rd children but that doesn't matter. We all have different
paths, and the best thing about not having that yet... Is that the best is yet to come
She reminded me that we still have all those incredible moments.
They aren't over, we are just getting started. I am lucky enough to have
those ahead. I would not have wanted any of this any sooner, really. The
excitement, appreciation, anticipation and pure joy for the future that I
have now, would not have come with anything but time and experiences.

I feel refreshed after writing this actually. Sometimes we all need to be
reminded of what life is all about. To not get too caught up in the moment
or let our minds wander into all the "what ifs."


I think I need these moments every once and while. A moment to make me stop
and look around. A moment to count my blessings. A pep talk with myself. So
after some tiny tears, a big bear hug from B and a lot of perspective, I am oh so very thankful.
 
I'm leaving you with this quote:

"The journey in between what you once were and who you are now becoming is
where the dance of life really takes place." - Barbara De Angelis

In this dance of life it all
comes down to one word, 
Grace.

15 comments:

  1. Wow. Um...amazing? I struggle with a lot of the same things. It's good to know that I'm not the only one who worries like this! And it's true, those moments are still yet to come. I'll have to remember that. Thank you.

    Lindsey Soup

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  2. LOVE this post. I have to say, I worry about a lot of things... mostly things I cannot help or change! I have learned that patience is very important!

    Everything will work out just as intended and you will get everything you deserve!! You are beautiful! And thank you for sharing this with us, I love the honesty and sometimes it's hard to let it out. But I'm sure glad you did!

    Sabrina Says

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  3. Wow girl, I can certainly relate! I think most people struggle with what they can't control or what is or isn't happening in their lives. Thanks for being so transparent with us, it's great to know we are not alone in our worries. Hang in there, you have a great outlook on the situation, and I know you will be blessed so much in the future!

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  4. Hi Kris! I love your open and honest blog post. It's so true - it's not always helpful to keep it all light and fluffy - we are all humans going through something similar or hard at times.

    B sounds like a real keeper - he is so right, we all have different paths that lead to something great and right for each of us! If we were all doing the same thing at the same time or age, life would be pretty boring. :)

    I am kept up at night with worry many times too, there is always something to worry about no matter what stage you're at, but it's important to remember what we all do have. A great reminder from you - thank you!

    Meggy from Chasing Davies

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  5. your blog is really nice, and you're right, you should always stay yourself while blogging. that's the most important thing :)

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  6. An honest bit of writing! Thank the heavens! Sometimes I get real sick of reading about everyone's inspirations and the pretty things they wear. That's not really what life is about.

    I'm a fellow planner and worry wart. I become so consumed with my plan and my timing. It's hard to just 'let it happen.' But you pointed out the things I should be focused on! The things we should allll be focused on. Wise words, thanks Kris!

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  7. Ahhhh, Grace. A word and theme for life that I've been running with for a looooong time:-) Life is all about the little moments! xoxo

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  8. oh girlfriend i can SO relate...so so much...you sound like me...with the worrything..the comparing...the needing to plan...so difficult to let loose your grip on life...but it always works out in the end though doesnt it? xx

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  9. Hi Kristal! First of all, thank you so much for stopping by my blog, I'm so glad you did because now I've discovered yours and let me just say, it's fabulous! Seriously I love the whole vibe you've got going on here and it's always nice to find a fellow blonde blogger ;) I was going to just reply to your comment on my blog, but when I checked out your blog, I was so touched by this post! It's just what I needed today :) I totally relate to everything you're saying, when you're in your twenties it's so hard not to get caught up in worrying about the future, and as much as I tell myself not to, it's so hard not to! Right now, my husband's job has us moving around which makes it hard for me to work a normal job, and so I'm trying to do something different things to work from home, but it's just not really going as well as I'd like so it's easy to get frustrated and feel like "Gahhh what am I doing with my life?!" Reading your post helped me put things in perspective and I'm glad I'm not alone in trying to figure it all out! Look forward to reading more of your blog!

    Ps: Sorry I just literally left a short novella on your blog haha...it's just I read this post and couldn't help it! :)

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  10. So true, girl. SO TRUE. I am a worrier by nature, and no matter what...I can't stop those creeping thoughts--comparisons to others, fears of what the future might bring...It's tough. So I definitely feel ya. ;)

    BUT I found this quote on pinterest that I love...and it has become somewhat of a mantra for me:

    "Not to spoil the ending for you, but everything is going to be okay."

    Don't you just love it?

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  11. I'm so glad I found your blog! First of all, I love that you're being real. It allows me to relate to bloggers and get to know them even better. I too am a planner and often worry about everything. My mind never stops at night sometimes. I also see all the people around me with a long-term healthy relationship, or the beautiful home in a nice neighborhood and I find myself wanting those things now.

    But, what you said is so very true. We are just getting started. We have our whole lives to look forward to! Sometimes I hear people who got married young, got the house, had four babies, and they're done by the age of 30. Then what? I know it's easier said than done but everything really will happen when the time is right for US. I'm still learning this. I'm still learning lots of things. What's important is that we stay true to ourselves. Thanks again for posting this! :)

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  12. I have definitely felt like this before! I am married, but definitely sometimes feel the pressure to go ahead and start a family. I just think that everyone develops their life in timing that is perfect for THEM!! It's all about what is best for us, not anyone else! Great and honest post!

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  13. I have that last sign printed out and posted on my refrigerator. i love this post, it's beautiful.

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  14. It's a scary world, but you have the love and support of B and you will make it through with lots of love and communication! On another note I love your hair.

    xxoo,
    Windsor
    http://eatlovebikini.blogspot.com/

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  15. hi kris! thanks so much for that last one! i know i am blessed, but i admit that sometimes i need reminding that there is so much suffering everywhere that my problems are infinitely smaller compared to other people's.

    <3, Mimi
    http://whatmimiwrites.blogspot.com/

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